At the well-publicised ‘Detectival’ in September of 2017, the Minelab Equinox was announced and duly arrived, delivered from the sky by an intrepid skydiver who accurately landed in the middle of the main arena, handing the detector over to representatives of Minelab whilst accompanied by thunderous applause.
Unfortunately, since then, The Daily Detectorist now exclusively reveals that at least one death and twelve injuries of varying degrees of seriousness have been caused by other detecting companies attempting their own big reveals.
Only last month detector distributor Gerald Rashford attempted to release a new pin pointer model by skydiver in a copycat style to Detectival, though unfortunately a freak gust of wind blew the man into a working woodchipper, with some sources saying he was instantaneously turned into a thick red mist, while others believe the man was killed slowly, according to several eye witnesses who claimed they could hear horrific screaming and “crunchy” grinding noises lasting for about 25 minutes coming from a field next door to the rally. The organiser and company promoter responsible for the event were arrested by police and subsequently bailed pending trial.
Elsewhere a company which we can’t name for legal reasons, attempted to reveal their latest range of detectors by means of having them delivered to a rally by a re-enacting Medieval knight on horseback. Unfortunately, the rider had failed to note the fact that his steed was particularly horny that day due to the presence of a field of brood mares adjacent to the rally, and having been suddenly thrown from his mount was the subject of a rather frantic and vicious bumming by the stallion. Escaping with a partially torn rectum and severe lacerations to his back, he still remains in hospital- with sources close to his family suggesting that he will sue for negligence.
Terry Bunt’s ‘Detectingthings’ has also come under close scrutiny when a man from Queensland received life threatening injuries as a result of a near-fatal great white shark attack just off the great barrier reef in Australia, after being encouraged to produce an underwater video to promote the latest model of snorkelling detector. The Youtuber who was bitten in two, is said to be in a critical yet stable condition and doctors promised to keep the DD informed of any changes.
Other injuries caused by detecting promotions gone wrong include five individuals who were badly burned at a Lets Go Detecting rally when an illegally modified firework designed to scatter prize tokens over a field prematurely exploded, elsewhere two female topless models were mowed down and maimed by a bull while producing a metal detecting themed nude calendar, and finally in America three members of the US based ‘Red’s Tektin’ company were shot by an over-zealous landowner after being mistaken for illegal Mexican immigrants.
The DD advises that people take extra caution out there in these crazy times, and urges them not to attempt publicity stunts unless working closely with trained professionals.