Islamic metal detectorists demand that prayer mats are supplied on public digs.

With a growing number of Muslim metal detectorist’s in the UK, it comes as no surprise to the astute observers at the Daily detectorist that plans to accommodate them are already in motion.Well known public rally organizers The Weekend Wonderers have even added halal meat to the menu in the catering van at their popular weekend detecting rallies, which see numbers of keen treasure hunting enthusiasts reach well over 1000. Now these numbers are set to soar after the recent 5000 coin Saxon hoard caught the attention of the media when it was found by an unemployed father of two at a weekend wonderers event. We went to ask Wonderers founder Peter Welch a few questions regarding the current boom in Islamic interest in metal detecting.

“In recent years we’ve had a great deal of interest from members of the Islamic community wanting to get involved in the hobby, and now we have seventeen practicing Muslims that regularly attend Weekend Wonderer rallies up and down the country. We initially decided against accepting them to the club as we had previously encountered trouble from a Muslim detectorist a Mr. Aasif Fayada Kamel who, after falling out with My wife Sarah, aggressively declared that as a devout Muslim he would be obliged to totally destroy beyond recognition any non – Muslim religious relics or artifacts he might find as in Islam it would almost certainly be considered blasphemous to expose them to the light of Allah, and furthermore, he didn’t require anyone except Allah’s permission to dig anywhere he liked as all land belonged to Allah.”

The altercation occurred after Mr Kamel dug up what he considered to be a ‘suspiciously clean’ medieval crusaders heraldic pendant, and went on to allege that Sarah Welch planted it in the ground next to Mr. Kamel for a laugh. However Mr. Kamel from Bradford, not being familiar with the quirky sense of humour  long associated with metal detectorists didn’t quite see the joke, and angrily made a comment about Sarah ‘needing to cover herself up a bit.’ A law suit was even suggested by the outraged Bradford detecting extremist, but eventually charges were dropped in a deal which would see halal meat permanently on the menu at all future Weekend Wonderer digs, and the banning of all pork derived products such as hot dogs or hamburgers.

“We’ve decided to give in to the will of Islam , and other non – Christian Britons, and proudly claim that detectorists of all nationalities, race and religion living in the UK are now welcome at the Weekend Wanderers, and we will do our utmost to accommodate them all.”

Now trying to push the envelope a little further, Mr. Kamel has contacted the Daily Detectorist to publish a nationwide appeal for club dig organizers to supply prayer mats for Islamic attendees out in the field .

” Everybody knows we aren’t allowed to get our prayer mats dirty, and it wouldn’t be suitable to transport  or use our personal mats in a muddy environment. What we want to see is disposable prayer mats being supplied by rally organizers , they’re certainly earning enough money from us judging by all the fancy 4×4 vehicles the Wanderers staff drive around in, and without our mats present on digs we risk getting our knees and foreheads dirty at Zohar, Asar and Magrib, which are the three main prayers we have to observe on a twelve hour dig.”

Furthermore Mr. Kamel has spoken of his plans to open the UK’s first Muslim only metal detecting club: The Brotherhood of Muslim Britons, and he urges any landowners or smallholders anywhere in the UK to come forward and give British Muslims a shot at English antiquities.

Published by

the daily detectorist

The Daily Detectorist unearthing metal detecting stories from around the globe . (we also feature satire comedy and not all of which is fully factional )

10 thoughts on “Islamic metal detectorists demand that prayer mats are supplied on public digs.”

  1. Why can’t they provide there own mats? Also what will happen to the Christian objects they find? As you’ve already read one stated he would destroy Christian objects Which I think is disgraceful And offensive.

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  2. Get stuffed,and we love our sausages,buy your own pray mat or i will demand knee pads and wooly hats in the name of a none religeous meat pie loveing english man.. Respect is earned mr K ,and what ive read i will never respect you or anything you say,you sound like a bully crying when you dont get your own way…please remember detecting is a voluntery hobby for like minded folk, its simple iff you dont like the rules ,dont attend..Also the rules are simple its called respect.your choice sunshine

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    1. I can supply Mr. Kamal with one time use prayer mats, they come in a round tin about 12″ across with a quick release button just use your foot to press the big red button in the middle to activate the one use prayer mat in a tin.

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  3. Hopefully most readers will understand this is a satirical article. Unfortunately it seems as though some didn’t get this.
    Please remember the horrors committed against communities in Europe in the late 1930s and 40s began with generalisations, dehumanising humour, etc before moving on to criminal damage against shops and homes, assaults, murders and finally genocide. Let’s please learn the lessons from the past and not allow the same mistakes to be made. Thanks

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  4. Can we examine this article a bit closer?
    If it is true-the misguided actions of one individual are being used as fuel to hate an entire community.
    If it is false-there is a faction of people waiting for any reason to hate on a community.
    As a Muslim the idea of me requesting prayer mats or special catering for my metal detecting endeavours is frankly ridiculous. Please do not think that the entire Muslim community lives with its head in the sand and have no concept of social norms of this country. This unilateral hatred is quite concerning.

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