Leading metal detector manufacturers Minelab have announced they have finally come up with a revolutionary idea to put an end to Nighthawking, (the act of illegally hunting for treasure and plundering ancient monuments under the cover of darkness). The hugely anticipated Go-Find range is designed to give a light and easy to use detector similar to other machines currently on the market, but at a more affordable price, and is set to feature the world’s first anti-nighthawking technology. We sent ace reporter Paul McCoil to take a statement from Minelab:
‘We’ve been working closely with archeologists and scientists, and together we have finally come up with a way to tackle nighthawks. For too long they’ve been dragging the names of honest, law abiding detecting folk through the mud, and we’re proud to announce that we’re the ones to finally bring an end to heritage crime.
What we’ve come up with is solar-power only technology which requires the sun to be out at all times for the machine to function. It won’t even turn on after dark, no batteries are required and there is no need to charge it, making it impossible to use the machine at night. We’re a little annoyed with ourselves that we didn’t think of it sooner, but also pleased that XP didn’t beat us to it, it’s an obvious solution to an on-going problem. The British Museum has publicly given full support to the new machine, even going so far as to suggest that all detectors without anti-nighthawking technology should be phased out and made illegal after the election is over, and our recently returned, veteran reporter and keen detectorist Phil Maholin wholeheartedly agrees:
‘I think all responsible parties should be lobbying parliament on this one, as soon as this upcoming election nonsense is out of the way and we all know which rich, over- privileged, silver spoon fed ex-public school, university-educated posh boy who’s never done a proper day’s work outside of politics in his life and his similar bunch of crooked, greedy, lying, self-serving Bullingdon club cronies that our uneducated, semi-indifferent and ill-informed electorate has chosen to pretend to run the country on behalf of the multi-national corporations for the next five years, and don’t even get me started on…’
Ok thanks Phil, that’s enough on that one, the cheque’s in the post.
Now plans are afoot to push other manufacturers to follow suit with their own anti-nighthawking products by 2017. The British Museum refused to provide The Daily Detectorist with a statement, so we sent our maverick jobbing reporter Robin Fields to ask Paul Barford of English Heritage his views, unfortunately Paul was unavailable for an interview but he sent this statement by e-mail:
‘Well, obviously, I’m happy that there will at least be some hours in the day, when these detectorist vermin will be unable to vandalise our heritage. But I think my views regarding detectorists, of any ilk, are well known, and whether they have the unmitigated audacity to brazenly plunder our cultural heritage in broad daylight, or whether they choose to skulk about illegally, like rats under the cover of darkness, in pursuit of their illgotten(sic) artifacts, they need to be stopped, let’s face it they’re no better than genocidal murderers, rapists and child molesters are they, and you wouldn’t say to them, “It’s alright as long as you do it in the daytime,” would you?’ well anyway, if you want to find out more you can read my blog yourself.
The Minelab go-find range will be available in all good, honest, reputable metal detecting retailers in the UK later this month starting from R.R.P £240*
*Not available at Joan Allen.