Nigel Farage declares UKIP’s ‘British only’ metal detecting policy.

Leader of the UKIP party Nigel Farage, has declared if elected he would push forward his plans to offer NCMD cards and the right to detect on British soil only to detectorists who can prove that they or their relatives have lived in the UK since 1945. We sent Paul McCoil to take a statement from the UKIP leader.

“If it’s not enough that these immigrants are coming over here demanding your jobs, houses and benefits, and also the right to call themselves British, now they want to rob us of our heritage and sell it for financial gain. I metal detect myself and have had enough of foreigners sniffing around my personal permissions, and bringing unwanted multiculturalism to the hobby. If UKIP are elected I vow to personally put an end to this madness and take control of the NCMD and only issue membership to people whose roots in this country go back to World war 2. But if you want to see priceless national artifacts and collectible coinage of Britannia in the hands of foreigners and immigrants instead of our national museums: vote Labour.”
Mr. Farage has been out in the field listening to pleas from members of the metal detecting community to see what issues they are facing with foreigners. History fanatic and keen treasure hunter Izzy Diggins wants to see restrictions on Polish and other eastern European detectorists living in England claiming: “They’re sending British artifacts back to their families at home to be sold on the Russian black market to fund the high living standards and lavish lifestyle eastern Europeans have become accustomed to because of money pouring in from the UK.”

Elsewhere, Anne Tickwitty has been in London getting the scoop on what policies the other political parties are offering detectorists, she reports;

The Tories are already pushing forward plans, backed by Prince Charles, to bring out a detecting permit costing a hefty £120 a month, which anyone wishing to detect on beaches or coastal land will be required by law to purchase, potentially making it no longer financially viable for the working class to pursue their hobby, and making more finds available to the middle and upper classes.

Ed Milliband has mentioned The Labour parties’ plans to have all public digs attended by a marshall to ensure that all finds are handed in at the end and shared equally amongst everyone attending.

The green party however want to see tighter regulations on rubbish and junk finds, which are allegedly being thrown into hedgerows destroying bird habitats, as well as poisoning the earth and other wildlife with lead and lithium from batteries often discarded by detectorists. They are getting growing support for pledging an outright ban on so-called green waste and making it illegal for recycling companies to offer financial incentives to farmers to take it off their hands.

Leader of The Respect party, born again Muslim George Galloway, has stated that while he fully supports Mr. Kamel and his brothers in b.o.m.b. and other Islamic detectorists up and down the country, he believes that all non-muslim finds should be given in aid to the Palestinians who have had their own heritage robbed off them, rather than be destroyed.

It seems that metal detectorists finally have a voice in this election. Never before have metal detectorists been so included in election manifestos, and which way they will vote is yet to be seen. Will the political parties keep true to their word, or will they just toss out the issues into the nearest hedge?

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the daily detectorist

The Daily Detectorist unearthing metal detecting stories from around the globe . (we also feature satire comedy and not all of which is fully factional )

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