For Decades, the heir to the throne of England has relentlessly pushed his idea of charging detectorists to try and rapaciously scrape more money from his duchies in Cornwall, Wales and any other beaches owned by the crown estate, and he allegedly believes that £120 a month is a fair price to pay for a hobby that regularly gives financial return. After a special secret meeting at the house of lords attended by all seat holders, Teresa May, and Prince Charles, a decision was passed with immediate effect, that a metal detecting license is now required by law to search crown estate beaches and all beaches in Cornwall and Wales. Detectorists should apply online at www. metaldetecting.gov at once to avoid prosecution. Teresa May was also heard discussing plans to build on and extend Charles’s ideas :
“Why should we stop in Cornwall and Wales Charles, and why couldn’t we be charging detectorists to search inland areas as well ? If we could be cynically profiteering from these plebs around the rest of the country, clawing away desperately in sand and mud for loose change and benefiting from the misfortune of others. All too often I hear harrowing tales of precious items being lost at the beach, be it by newly weds on a honeymoon love romp, or people in mourning that have lost items of sentimental value belonging to passed loved ones, each case results in a happy metal detectorist, and a victim of theft by finding, I say we charge these bastards to the hilt.”
Plans are now afoot to roll out the scheme over the rest of the UK by 2019, with trials in Dorset and Somerset starting early next year. Prince Charles has made it publicly known that he also wishes to make it an offence against the crown to detect on his duchy’s without a permit, as well as claiming personal ownership of any incoming valuables he chooses found anywhere he currently holds a duchy, and wants to personally oversee them all and choose at his own leisure.
Prince Charles is also under attack from the NCMD (National council of metal detecting) which has stepped in with a petition signed by amateur and professional detectorists from around the globe, including all major distributors, manufacturers, magazines and media sources including the Daily Detectorist, and every major Facebook group excluding “Dig this!” which pulled out of the petition , and also made it a ”group kick-able offence” to sign the petition, following a dispute with the NCMD over them not being interested in being an affiliate sponsor of the group. A desperate bid was also made via ritual ceremonies performed by the Druidic Council of Cornwall because the land has a great deal of Iron-age history and they expressed the opinion that ‘Prince Charles has no business claiming ownership rights of Celtic grave goods,ritual items and votive offerings of any nature because he is a Christian and his ancestors were of Pagan Anglo Saxon descent anyway’.