Battlefield recovery is coming to Hastings.

Battlefield Recovery, a channel 5 world war II history series following a four-man team as they explore war zones on the Eastern Front in an effort to excavate and preserve the forgotten battle relics, is set to delve deeper into the past and set sights towards home in England where they plan to locate and dig up the site of the famous battle which took place in 1066 at Hastings.

The regularly scorned TV series Battlefield Recovery (aka called Nazi war diggers) has sparked outrage throughout the archaeological world (again) by announcing in a tweet that the next series is going to be filmed at a battle site “on British soil and took place sometime around the date of 1066 in a location somewhere in East Sussex.” Within minutes the tweet was shared and bombarded by protesting semi-educated online trainee archaeologists of sorts which all seemed to think it must be referring to the battle of Hastings and they also shared a common idea that the excavation would never be allowed to go ahead. We Sent DD’s ancient warfare correspondent Mr.Claude.A.Savage to get an unofficial statement from channel 5 producers.

‘The boys are absolutely thrilled for the opportunity to get their hands on some real ancient battle relics, and where better to kick off the new series than the site of the world famous battle of Hastings in 1066. Time Team and channel 4 failed miserably in their attempt to pin point the exact battle site location so because of that we are turning the next series into a media battle between ourselves and channel 4. It won’t be a very tough victory either considering all that nonsense Time team suggested about Harold being at Caldbec Hill  before marching  off to meet his doom at the site of that mini roundabout, they only found one axe head in the area, hardly enough evidence to presume a battle had taken place there. We are expecting the usual critics, archaeologists, local historians and other general kill joys to be against our lads and what they are doing but if i may speak frankly, we just don’t care. If a few dead guys need to be dug up to increase channel 5  viewing statistics who gives a shit?  We like shows like this because they are self funded and until someone presents some kind of legal documentation proving that the battle field recovery team are breaking any laws, we will continue to air the show and may they plunder on.’

Not surprisingly the location featured in the new series has caused some controversy and clash of opinions right across the board, as DD’s Geroffe Moyland Reports:

‘ I am not overly fond of  Battlefield recovery, i don’t believe their methods are ethical nor motives genuine. The team ravaged a ww1 site in Somme where my Grandpapa Jerome Moyland had laid for years relatively in peace until they turned up with mechanical diggers, sledgehammers and other earth shattering devices to plunder battle sites which still remain sensitive among relatives of the deceased. I’m sick to death of the English thinking  can do what they want and  have some claim to our land through their degenerate ancestry line of royalty and that we have to be eternally grateful for the British bleeding on French shores to rescue us in ww2. Despite my usual disliking of battlefield recovery, at least in the Hastings episodes the cameras will be focusing on a battle which the French won.’

At this point Geroffe stormed out of the interview muttering smugly something about the battle of Morlaix in 1342 before informing our secretary Carol he was off to a XP public demonstration where they plan to showcase the Flintmaxx coils.

DD employees appear to have mixed views on this one, Paul McCoil and Geroffe Moyland eagerly await a chance to gloat over a rare defeat of the English on their own soil, Anne Tickwitty has joined a group of associates opposing the Hastings dig, whilst Phil Maholin assures us he has his pipe and slippers ready for the new series and will be tuning in to nit-pick and send in a report shortly after he’s finished listening to his weekly session of Mythbusters on radio 4.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by

the daily detectorist

The Daily Detectorist unearthing metal detecting stories from around the globe . (we also feature satire comedy and not all of which is fully factional )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s